🌟 Trigger warning 🌟
I’ve never done this kind of thing before. And I don’t really know where to begin. But this isn’t just my story, it’s my fiancĂ©’s to. He should be here right now. In fact it’s 16 days to our wedding. But 11 weeks ago my life changed forever, when he was found that Friday morning having taken his own life.
I met Pete almost 2 years ago. We met online, having chatted to a fair ammount of people but refusing to meet them all there was something about Pete that was different. I don’t know what it was, but there was something that made me feel so comfortable I eventually agreed to meet him.
We met at a local pub one Saturday night in September. I was the most anxiety ridden person you would of ever met that whole day and night. My long suffering best friend took me and came for the first 10 mins to make sure all was as it should be.
We had the most perfectly funny amazing night. I barely spoke, I spent more time chewing my thumb to pieces with nerves. We could hardly hear eachother as the music was so loud. But that smile. I knew, from the moment I saw him that he was the one for me.
After spending a couple of hours in the pub we walked down to the beach and sat watching the waves crash chatting the night away. Before long my bestie was back to pick me up. Pete hugged me goodbye and I went home on cloud 9.
It didn’t take long from that first date till we became inseparable. I believe our love for eachother was obvious for anyone to see. Pete treated me like a true princess. I was so broken when I met him, I didn’t think anyone would ever be able to love me. But piece by piece Pete put my heart back together again.
Our relationship wasn’t easy. But our love for eachother conquered all.
Pete suffered greatly with his mental health. Long before I knew him and right up un till the end. He was incredible, he fought so hard every day to be the best he could be. He always put me first even when he couldn’t cope himself.
I saw first hand how this awful illness takes someone away from themselves. My Pete was happy, he was the the joker of the gang, he always had the perfect response and could turn anyones mood up. But the days that others didn’t see were those days he couldn’t leave the house, he couldn’t get out of bed, shower, eat properly. He was agitated and irritable. Its the hardest thing to watch someone detoriate right before your eyes and know there is nothing you can do to stop it.
