🌟Trigger Warning🌟
It was the end of March.
I’m forcing myself to remember this occasion so it may or may not make complete sense.
I woke up one morning to Petes mum knocking the door asking if we wanted to go out for breakfast with them. I said I’d wake Pete and ask.
We were in bed and so I went as normal to wake him up, but I got nothing back. I was calling his name, nothing. At first stupidly it didn’t occur to me something was wrong, he was a deep sleeper because of the medication he took. Within 30 seconds I knew something wasn’t right.
This sounds so bad now but I had to basically slap his face a few times and still no response so I went and got his mum back. She came and tried again, with no response at all she phoned 999.
The ambulance came and got the same response as us, he did sit upright at one point but his eyes were glazed over and he was opening his mouth like a fish, it was really strange. Almost like you would imagine if someone had had a stroke.
They took Pete to A&E and we followed in the car. I have a massive phobia of hospitals and germs so struggle with ambulances etc.
It was at this point I was told that Pete had taken some medication from his parents earlier in the week, he had told them he got rid of them before taking any but obviously we couldn’t be sure.
He also took some meds to the chemist to dispose of, I don’t know what happened to them.
I felt like this was all my fault. I was trying so hard to be supportive but it was eating me up inside. I knew Pete needed a job, otherwise the wedding woildnt be paid for. Equally I didn’t want to put pressure on him. But I had tried to mention it casually. I had gotton upset at times because I was struggling to cope, and it worried me that he had done this because he didn’t like to see me upset.
At the hospital Pete was in resus again. This time being monitored constantly by a nurse because he was effectively in a coma.
I don’t really understand it but on the Glasgow coma scale he was in a coma.
The only response the doctors managed to get was a slight one to pain when they put his canulas in.
We stood there talking to him and stroking him, I just wanted him to hold me. It was so so scary. At this point no one knew for sure that it was an overdose and because of this they had to treat him for a few things on the off chance.
They eventually told us to go and come back some hours later as he wasn’t going to be coming round anytime soon.
Walking away, broken, terrified, exhausted with worry. It takes its toll.
