This evening I’ve been to a support group.
This is the second time I have gone, the first time it was traumatic. Its hard enough going there with your own feelings but sitting and listening to everyone else’s stories wasn’t easy. My heart broke for every single person there.
Tonight however it was different. I was nervous to go but as soon as we sat down it felt like we were part of the family. Albeit a family nobody wants to be a part of, but a band of support none the less.
I didn’t feel able to speak so my friend spoke on my behalf, breif but that was all that was needed. We sat for over an hour listening to other people talk about how the previous month has been for them. For some it has been a better month, for others the pain is as unbearable as it was that first day.
After that there was a break and we got chatting to a couple of ladies there, both so so lovely. It sounds bizarre to say i enjoyed tonight, but it was so nice to be around people that completely understood how I’m feeling. They were also brutally honest with me about how it’s going to feel, probably forever. I appreciate that though, people sugar coat things but for me, I wanna know the truth. Tell me it’s gonna hurt for years, don’t lie to me with false hope.
I said to one women how I didn’t feel like I was coping well. She turned to me and said, from an outsiders perspective, I was at the meeting, I was dressed, I had clean hair and make up on, I was chatting and I was smiling. She said that shows me that you are stronger than you think, and coping more than you can see.
As we were leaving the women who runs the group gave a bunch of flowers to another member. This member immediately came and gave them to me, she hugged me and said she new the upcoming weeks would be hard for me and felt I needed them more than her.
I’ve met these people twice, some only once. They are a beautiful group of broken people holding eachother up. I am so grateful that I found them and took the huge step to go. Its not for everyone and its certainly not a ‘club’ anyone wants to join but if you need it, it’s there.
