🌟 Trigger Warning 🌟
The next few hours are all quite blurry. I remember going to the hospital with his parents and being ushered into the family area. It was there they told us Pete was in resus.
I don’t know if any of you reading this have ever been told a loved one is in resus, but it kicks you where it hurts. I was so so scared.
Eventually we were allowed in to see him, his parents left us alone for a bit to talk. I don’t really remember what was said, I know he apologised and seemed confused. He told me he loved me.
I stayed at his house that night, In bed alone without him, I cried myself to sleep.
The next day we had to wait for visiting hours so it was about 3pm when I finally saw him again. This time, I remember asking why? Did you really want to die? What about me? Am I not enough?
We both cried.
He told me that it wasn’t my fault, he said it broke his heart to watch me sob at his bedside. He said he didn’t really want to die, but he couldn’t cope with what was going on inside and wanted that to stop. It was heartbreaking to listen and see him battling something none of us can truly understand.
Pete was kept in another night because the tablets he had taken were slow releasing and where he had taken so many it took over 72 hours and countless glucose drips to bring his levels back to normal and keep them there.
Another night without him. There’s no words that really describe how it feels to go home alone not really knowing if the person you love will ever be okay.
He was discharged on Thursday 21st December. 4 days before Christmas. We kept to our orginial plans and had our friends over that evening. Pete wasn’t okay, but life doesn’t stop for mental health and he didn’t want it to either.
