The struggle is real.
In the last month or so slowly but surely the support dwindles and people disappear to carry on with there lives.
Nobody is going to grieve the same way I am, nobody is effected like me either, because Pete was my man. So even though my life isn’t going anywhere at the moment I know that everyone else’s carry’s on.
People will tell me to message them if I need anything or want to talk, but half of them don’t reply, some I don’t know well enough to feel comfortable to, and the ones that I do talk to I feel like I’m a broken record so tend not to bother.
Please don’t take this as me being ungrateful. I am more than grateful for every single person who has reached out and I always will be. I guess it’s my own insecurities that make me feel the way I do right now.
I feel like it’s one thing after another at the moment.
On Friday I actually got some potentially good news, but I’m so scared of getting ahead of myself or being to excited in case it doesn’t work out. Everything else has gone wrong recently so why wouldn’t this.
I am exhausted all the time, my head is pounding 24/7 and I just want it all to stop. I’m constantly fighting what seems to be a losing battle. In every way possible.
Im not used to feeling this way. I’ve spent the majority of the last few years focusing on being the strong positive one to help others. And now I need that version of me to help me. But she’s not there.
All that being said. No matter how much I’m suffering right now, I’m still always here to support anyone who needs it. Everyone says to talk, but sadly when we do people don’t always respond.
I mean it when I say I will do.
I wouldn’t wish these feelings on anyone, so if the one thing I can do is help prevent others going through similar than I will do.
