Over the next few months we organised our wedding, we only wanted a small ceromeny with only our 2 best friends as witnesses. No family. Then we planned to have a party a day later for everyone else. I didn’t even think I wanted a proper wedding dress, but that soon changed when I went …
Author Archives: smileeeehannah
July 1st 2018..
It was July 1st 2018. We had planned to go to the cinema that afternoon but I woke up in a foul mood 😬 It was more anxiety than anything, I find some things difficult some days I can do it all, the next day I can’t do the same things because of my anxiety. …
Better times are coming..
I think something seemed to click that day. I don’t know if it was seeing me so broken or a realisation that he had things to live for but something changed. Pete started EMDR. I was dubious, I’m very much a see it to believe it kinda person and this seemed very strange. But Pete …
2018..
🌟Trigger Warning🌟 January 2018 came and it came to light that Pete wasn’t being completely honest with his therapist about what had happened to him. He asked me to go to his appointment with him and to speak for him, they needed to know however hard it was. I still hadn’t gone home since that …
The most magical time of the year..
Christmas eve came and if you know me, yourll know I’m basically buddy the elf at Christmas. Well from August leading up if I’m honest 🤦🏼♀️ Pete wanted us to enjoy it no matter what and put so much effort into making such a sombre time a perfect day. We ordered a Chinese and watched …
Crisis team ✅
🌟Trigger Warning🌟 The next few days I was so scared to leave Pete alone. I had plans with friends and family over the Christmas period but with the added visits from the crisis team morning and night those plans didn’t stand any importance. I just want to say now, please do not take my views …
A family you don’t want to join..
This evening I’ve been to a support group. This is the second time I have gone, the first time it was traumatic. Its hard enough going there with your own feelings but sitting and listening to everyone else’s stories wasn’t easy. My heart broke for every single person there. Tonight however it was different. I …
Home again..
🌟 Trigger Warning 🌟 The next few hours are all quite blurry. I remember going to the hospital with his parents and being ushered into the family area. It was there they told us Pete was in resus. I don’t know if any of you reading this have ever been told a loved one is …
The first time, but not the last..
🌟 Trigger Warning 🌟 There’s no easy way to talk about mental health. Especially suicide. It’s not something alot of people want to comprehend. Sadly statistics show that suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45. Let that sink in. I knew Pete suffered from the word go, that didn’t bother me. I have …
Where it all began..
🌟 Trigger warning 🌟 I’ve never done this kind of thing before. And I don’t really know where to begin. But this isn’t just my story, it’s my fiancé’s to. He should be here right now. In fact it’s 16 days to our wedding. But 11 weeks ago my life changed forever, when he was …
