Author Archives: smileeeehannah
Dear Pete x
Dear Pete. 2 years ago today you asked me to be your girlfriend and with no hesitation I agreed. I still didn’t understand why you wanted to be with me or why I knew you were the guy I wanted to spend my life with. But there was always something about you, i don’t know …
Dear Pete..
Dear Pete. So many things have changed since you’ve been gone. The main thing quite clearly being you. But soon we’re all going to be moving. Moving from the last place any of us saw you. I feel like it’s the right time now, and I’m ready to move but at the same time terrified …
The struggle is real..
The struggle is real. In the last month or so slowly but surely the support dwindles and people disappear to carry on with there lives. Nobody is going to grieve the same way I am, nobody is effected like me either, because Pete was my man. So even though my life isn’t going anywhere at …
Our Wedding Day.
Today, Friday 6th September is our wedding day. I should be getting ready and feeling like a princess aswell as having a nervous breakdown because it wouldn’t be me without one. Pete and I didn’t want traditional, we wanted it to be right for us. So instead of having the wedding in one hit, we …
But is it worth it?
🌟Trigger Warning🌟 ‘bad things happen to good people’ ‘I know you don’t think so but it will get easier with time’ ‘life tests the strongest of people’ ‘here it you need anything’ ‘message me anytime’ ‘if you need me I’m here for you’ ‘you need to be patient’ ‘times a great healer’ ‘you don’t deserve …
Spiritualists..
So last night some of petes family went to see a spiritualist.. It wasn’t a private thing it was with around 60 other people. I’ve never been a believer in anything like this, growing up in a very religious household we were always taught this wasn’t something to every get involved in as it opened …
A strange week..
This week has been a strange one. The first 6-8 weeks after Pete died I felt like I was in some bubble, I kept it together, I don’t think I let myself accept it as true. Not entirely sure I fully have now. But I felt bad because it felt like I wasn’t upset enough. …
Struggling.
🌟Trigger Warning🌟 I think the biggest thing I’m struggling with right now is the fact life moves on. And quickly. Everyone said to me that after the funeral it would get harder and people would disappear and they were so right. I’m not saying everyone, but you go from having so many messages a day …
The guilt.
🌟Trigger Warning🌟 I know I talked about this in a previous post but then overwhelming feelings of guilt are so hard to live with. It’s the guilt you feel for doing anything. I feel like people would expect me and I should be sat at home sobbing all day and night for months on end, …
